“And that’s when I know it’s over.”

This is How You Lose Her by Junot Diaz

In our class Monday we got to talk about Junot Diaz and that gave me a lot of insight toward himself as a person but also how that reflects in his writing. To give you a little backstory Junot faced allegations of sexual misconduct and misogynistic behavior. As my class divulged more into Junot’s life the more we found similarities between him and our narrator Yunior. It disturbed me to find out the line between fiction and reality had suddenly merged together and i found it difficult not think of Junot as Yunior and vice versa. As a reader we are supposed to blur that line between the author and the character but again like I said, I feel like i can’t do that. I’m frustrated by the fact that some material in the book is almost advertising sexual assault as something that is normal, which the sad thing is, it is. There is a difference between something being a common occurrence and then making excuses to why it can occur. We are in the point of view of the oppressor not the one being oppressed. The thing about that that concerns me is not everyone has my point of view on this subject, let’s say someone with the same thought process as Yunior reads this book and thinks to themselves “oh okay someone else is doing this, so i shouldn’t feel as guilty…” I am in no way saying that these people feel no sort of remorse or guilt but it only takes a little fuel to start that fire up within them. I think it is important to note that people who are physically, mentally, and emotionally abusive don’t just come or stem from the same place. A lot of stereotypes frame these people to be from the streets, without a father/mother, in poverty, and etc. Though that is the case for some people it is not speaking for all. Now a days we especially see how men in some sort of power position use that to their advantage. Sure this type of behavior can stem from trauma but I don’t think there is any excuse to solely base it on that. The human part of me consistently thinks “if only they would’ve taken this path or if only they had this person in their life…” but in the end if that person themself doesn’t want to change what more can I do?

I know this is a very sensitive subject, one that i can not really relate too, so I apologize if I do not fully understand or say something that is offensive. If you would like to correct me or educate me some more please feel free to leave a comment.